Comedy and the Art of Renal Failure
Posted on March 13, 2008
Filed Under Writing Humor | 6 Comments
The following is graciously submitted by RF of Renal Failure. RF is a Humor-Blogs.com member. Also be sure to check out his Bloggers Speak: Interview with RF.
Lesson 17a: “The Devil Mixes His Lies with the Truth
Humor, like the Pirate Code, doesn’t really have binding laws. Except for: “Be funny.” Other than that, any rules of humor you hear about are more of a set of guidelines that are mostly helpful to follow.
Like the Rule of Three. It’s always three guys at the gates of heaven or three guys walk into a bar. This doesn’t mean something can’t be funny with two or four people, but for the most part you can’t go wrong with three.
Truth in Comedy
Another helpful guideline can be found in the book “The Truth in Comedy,” written by the masters of the improv craft at Second City in Chicago. Its main thrust is that what makes something funny (a story, a performance, whatever) is that there’s truth behind it.
Think about the funniest stories you know. They’re all true stories from your life or someone else’s life. There may be some elaborations, but mainly it’s truthful reactions and truthful responses tapped by the writer or performer that make it funny and worthwhile to experience.
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to not only being funny, but being entertaining as well.
The truth, and comedy for that matter, should be like a good bowel movement. It should come out easy with no straining, because forcing it leaves you with hemorrhoids and blood in your stool.
Except if you strain or try to hard in comedy you’ll find there’s not only blood in your stool but that everyone can see it and they also think you’re not funny. And that’s not a problem that fiber supplements or Preparation H can readily fix.
Lies in Comedy
So if there is Truth in Comedy and Comedy in Truth, what about lies? Logic would seem to dictate that lies are not funny. That’s wrong. Lies are hilarious.
A priest, a rabbi, and the Dali Llama never went golfing together. The movie “Blazing Saddles” is not a documentary or based off a true story. And the Polish Navy has never constructed a submarine with screen windows.
Interesting paradox, right? Not really, because humor is not science. It doesn’t have to abide by the laws of physics or thermodynamics. And it only has to have a passing acquaintance with logic.
How can the truth and lies both be funny? Ask yourself which lies are the most effective? If you said “what are the lies that sound a lot like the truth?” then you’re correct and you can pick again from the Jeopardy board.
Let’s look at my blog, Renal Failure. It says right on my banner “The blog of wild fabrications and outright lies.” So right off the bat I’m telling you I’m lying, but I’m being truthful about it.
And while I might not actually have a half-cyborg cat or a ninja as drinking buddies, there are nuggets of truth in those stories that keep it accessible for the reader. I’m being honestly dishonest.
Entertainment is Key
For the most part, the truth is funny. But lies in the service of truth can be just as funny. This is not a rule, just a helpful guideline, and your experience may differ depending on how adept you are at the craft.
Or maybe everything I just told you is a lie. Could be, but you did enjoy yourself anyway, right? And thus I’ve managed to adhere to the “Be Funny” rule, which is the only rule that needs to be followed.
Next time, we’ll discuss whether or not unfunny people are more likely to develop bowel cancer. The answer may surprise you.
I offer my thanks to RF, whose generosity is outweighed only by his ability to spin wild and entertaining tales.
The Secret to Writing Humor
Posted on March 6, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized | 24 Comments
This article was generously authored by Brent Diggs of the Ominous Comma. Brent is an author, blogger, and every bit as-funky-as-he-wants-to-be. Visit him at his hilarious site.
Do you know the Secret?
High in the mountains of upper Bolivia, guarded for centuries by ancient Norwegian fish herders lies the secret.
Not the mystical law of attraction that promises to manifest wealth and satisfaction into your life for a small fee, but rather the secret to unleashing smiles and even audible laughter with your written humor.
This secret, which I am about to reveal in the next five words, is none other than editing.
I will pause for the inevitable groaning.
Once you retrieve the mouse you threw against the wall in bitter disappointment, we will continue.* Yes, there are some definite challenges when it comes to writing humor. The first of which is that it is painfully difficult to do. At least if you want to do it well.
Of course this really shouldn’t come as a surprise if you think about it, considering that nearly every tool of comedy is denied to the writer.
In stand up, live comedy, comedy films, and even in conversation much of the humorous effect of any exchange is delivered by facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, and sounds; all of which team up for an interlocking assault on the audience’s collective funny bone.
But as a humble writer of prose, your humor rests almost exclusively on the power of your words. Which is why you must pick them with care and arrange them for maximum impact.
Picking Your Words
William Zinsser, in his well respected reference manual, On Writing Well, which has been in existence longer than many of the people reading this article, states that humor is the one type of writing where using a thesaurus is actually beneficial.
Although none of my work is available in a thirtieth anniversary edition, I too have found that there is a huge advantage to exploring the range of connotations and shades of meaning accessible through careful word selection.
It allows you to assume many different voices or tones in your writing and use them to sneak up on your readers while carefully concealing your punchline until the last possible minute.
Want an example? In the 7th paragraph/block of this piece I wrote that we must chose our words “…with care and arrange them for maximum impact.”
Having finished that sentence I looked up and realized that I had already used the phrase “humorous impact” in the paragraph right above it, which really diluted the power of the word “impact” by repeating it so carelessly.
So I changed that top sentence to read “humorous effect” instead, which I didn’t like as much but preserved the impact effect power strength of the overall piece.
Arranging Your Words
Much has been written about this. Dave Barry is famous for saying that he puts the funniest word at the end of a sentence and the funniest sentence at the end of a paragraph.
Try it, it works. Once you get comfortable with that rule, try breaking it.
Mix up the order of your sentences and even your phrases within each sentence until they smoothly lead the reader from one gag to the next.
A Word on Blogging for Humor
I can’t say this for sure, but the impression I get from many bloggers is that finding themselves with a funny idea and an hour before their favorite TV show, they pound out a quick post, hit publish, and hope that it will be funny.
People who are a little more serious about writing humor have a term for this sort of writing:
A rough draft.
Yes, I know that blogging is all about quick, unfiltered responses, but editing, revising, and many of the things that bloggers pride themselves on not doing are exactly the things required to be consistently funny.
In closing, everyone please bow your head and repeat with me my personal mantra: “Great humor is not written, it is rewritten.”
—–
*Those of you with wireless mice will undoubtedly take longer that the rest. Don’t worry, we’ll wait for you.
—–
Humor-Blogs.com doesn’t have a mouse anymore.
Humor Blogging: It’s not Dead Yet
Posted on March 4, 2008
Filed Under Meta-Blogging | 2 Comments
Image Credit: March of the Undead by Lainmoon
Humor Blogging Makes it’s Return
First, I would like to thank those of you who remained subscribed to Humor Blogging. I know that it’s been more than a month now since I’ve updated the site.
I could throw out some excuses for this. I could claim that I’ve been too busy, work has been a bear, or that I’ve been sick. I could say that aliens abducted me, and forced me to stay away from the site, under threat of anal probing.
None of that would be true. The fact is just that I’m a bit flaky when it comes to staying dedicated to things that require effort.
Maintaining a blog takes serious work
I suggest anyone that has bought into the notion that they will somehow earn easy, passive income from blogging reread that header. Then read it again. Take your time. In fact, make it a mantra. Meditate on it for a few moments.
Better yet, don’t get past the header until it sinks in all the way.
Have you completely disabused yourself of the notion of easy money yet? Good. Now we can finally continue.
Bipolar Blogging
It’s tough to overcome the effects of being bipolar. The lows obviously make it difficult to do anything at all. During those periods, I’m just exhausted, and struggle to get through the day.
Less obvious in it’s difficulty are the upswings. You might think it would be the greatest thing on earth to have dozens of ideas , but it’s not as wonderful as it would seem.
I recall reading about studies that show that when people are given a choice of two options, it is easy for them to make a decision. When a third choice gets thrown into the mix, the participants become crippled with indecisiveness, and choose nothing.
Too many choices creates a short-circuit in the thinking process.
Violent Acres recently had a good article on the effect of too many choices.
For example, I could have sat down and penned you all a nice update to read. But in order for me to do that, I would have had to forsake my volunteer work. Meeting with an architect to discuss the facility I’m planning to build was another option of mine. But in choosing that, I would also be choosing not to look at a property I’m interested in buying. Faced with a long list of choices, all equally enjoyable, I mentally froze.
This is exactly the struggle I have with having so many ideas.
Great things coming to Humor Blogging
I resolve to put a better effort into maintaining this site in the future. I owe it to the outstanding, brilliant, and talented individuals who have inquired about, or agreed to contribute to it.
Top notch writers, like Diesel from the Mattress Police, and Clay Pigeon Humor Magazine, who wrote a guide on How to Write Funny.
Stay tuned, because soon Brent Diggs of the hilarious Ominous Comma will reveal the Secret to writing Humor, and you don’t want to miss that.
And I mean that in the most threatening manner possible.
Image Credit: A fine Cigar by Steve Burt
If you subscribe to Humor Blogging by email or RSS subscription you can be sure to see it first.
Humor-Blogs.com has many funny writers as well.
The Best Night of My Life: The Shocking Truth Revealed
Posted on January 30, 2008
Filed Under Humor | 5 Comments
Some people go to college with high hopes and fantastic ambitions. Not me. I just wanted to live at home without getting a job.
It was Freshman year, and all the fraternities were accepting pledges, but one fraternity stood out from all the rest. Alfalfa House had a real reputation.
I can honestly say it was far from a rare experience to show up to class, still bleary eyed from the previous night’s festivities. Those Babylon 5 marathons were legendary.
There’s nothing in the world like pledging for Alfalfa House. Like the time they made us stay up for 72 hours straight playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. And who could forget the time we burnt the popcorn and had to make a new batch? Traumatic times like that really forge the bond of brotherhood.
Of course there was that memorable night. During a particularly rousing episode of Babylon 5, a raven haired beauty sat by me on the couch. I was painfully shy back then. By no means would I have been considered a “ladies man,” or “smooth operator.”
But it wasn’t long before all eyes were fixed upon the two of us with green envy. We were hooting and hollering it up, and soon others joined in.
It’s not like me to move so fast against a woman, but she had brought Magic: The Gathering and I was in the zone that night.
Before we knew it, the sun was rising, and we hadn’t slept a wink - If you know what I mean. And if you’ve never played Magic: the Gathering, you probably have no freaking idea what I mean.
I never caught her name, which is a shame because she left her deck behind. I’ll never know what became of those cards. I guess she just bought new ones.
Next time I will tell you about how I got the nickname Big Bacon® Cheeseburger.
Humor-Blogs.com is having a Rock, Paper Scissors tournament.
If you are interested in contributing to Humor Blogging, please email me through the contact page.
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Image Credit: Editor B
Best Humor Blogging Links #4
Posted on January 18, 2008
Filed Under Linking | 6 Comments
Image Credit: Links
It’s way past due to deal out the link love on the week’s best humor and blogging links. I’d like to start by congratulating Lord Likely on his award for Performancing Reader’s Choice 2007 in the category of Best Blog you’ve never heard of.
Also, thank you kindly for awarding me the Golden Cock of Excellence. I am deeply honored. I shall treasure it and polish it daily with the finest lubricants… Perhaps more than once daily.
But enough about me. On with the Humor and Blogging links:
SEO Humor → SEO 2.0’s Tad Chef dukes it out for the championship of best headline writer.
Personal Development Humor → Lord Likely tells you how to Help Your Bloody Self.
Cell Phone Humor → Mark Dykeman posts the Top 10 Reasons Cell Phones Have Become Essential for Modern Living.
Writing Humor → Brent D offers Writing Tips.
Crude Humor → The Smiling Infidel teaches some Vocabulary.
Blogging Humor → Naomi Dunford notes 6 Kinds of Commenters.
That’s it for this week’s Humor Blogging links. I’ll try to stay on top of things better. Of course, most of my ideas come from Humor-Blogs.com.
If you’ve found (or created) any great links, please feel free to drop them in the comments or email them to me via my contact page.
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How to Write a Funny Rambling Style Post: Diesel of the Mattress Police
Posted on January 10, 2008
Filed Under Writing Humor | 20 Comments
This is a guest post by Humor-Blogs.com founder, Diesel.
Since I started MattressPolice.com about a year and a half ago, I’ve written a lot of different kinds of humor pieces.
It’s been sort of an ongoing experiment, and I’ve gradually settled into a more-or-less consistent style, which is the Essay that Pretends to Have a Serious Point But Really is Just a String of Bizarre Digressions That Somehow Ends Up Basically Where It Started.
There are certainly a lot of other ways to write funny stuff, but I thought I’d try to write a primer to writing a Diesel-esque post for those of you who wonder how you might go about writing something like that.
Of course, if you’ve never visited my site before, you may want to read a couple of my posts to find out whether I even know what that hell I’m talking about. Some good examples of this kind of post are:
Ok, so hopefully you read a couple of those and you’re thinking, “Gosh, those are hilarious. I’d love to write crap like that.”
Or not. Whatever. Anyway, here’s the process, more or less.
1. Come up with a couple of funny one-liners or jokes.
I know, this seems like a semi-retarded bit of advice, but you’d be amazed how many people write a “humorous” post without any jokes in it. They come up with what they think is a funny idea, and then they stretch that into a post. Booooring.
You should have at least 2 jokes.* It doesn’t even matter if they have anything to do with each other, because of the magic of Point 2.
2. Devise a narrative.
This is the “story” that you’re telling with your post. How the hell do I do that? You ask. Simple, I respond. Put your first joke at the beginning of the story. Put your second joke at the end of the story. Now write some semi-coherent drivel that gets you from Joke 1 to Joke 2.
If Joke 1 and Joke 2 are completely unrelated, your post will be even funnier, because you’re going to have to write some really weird stuff to connect the two. If you’re lucky, Joke 3 and maybe 4 and 5 will spring up magically while you’re trying to connect 1 and 2.
3. Write an ending.
Now you’ve got 2 jokes with some weird stuff in the middle. Great. The problem is that if you end the post there, people will feel like they’ve just read 2 jokes with some weird stuff in the middle. You need to tack on an ending that somehow ties the rest of the post together.
The best way to do this is to reiterate joke 1 in a slightly different way. For example in my Human Inertia post, the last line is a reference to a joke that I made at the beginning of the post, about my boss’s love for PowerPoint presentations. In comedy, that’s known as a callback, and it’s pure gold.
It magically gives a point to any string of semi-coherent drivel you throw together. To your reader, it will seem like your whole post was leading up to that conclusion. Also, it’s a cue to the reader that the post is over. If you don’t provide a satisfactory conclusion, it won’t matter how much the reader enjoyed the first part.
It will be like 45 minutes of hot sex that ends with you watching an episode of the Golden Girls.
4. Smooth out your transitions
So that it’s not quite so obvious that you stuck 2 jokes together and then re-told the first one. Make it feel like a story. Don’t fill it with all kinds of unnecessary (boring) detail; just make sure the jokes don’t feel forced.
In fact, your goal should be to make the jokes not feel like jokes. We’re going for subtlety here, people. If you say something completely insane and then follow it up with the statement “I know, I’m so CRAZY!!!”, you just sucked all the laughs out of your joke.
But if you say 2 completely normal things, one spoon-bitingly insane thing, and then another normal thing, BAM! Instant humor. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but not nearly as stupid because - Hello, they’re fish! Just knock the barrel over and you’ll save bullets.
5. Edit for punch.
Ideally a joke comes from out of nowhere and hits the reader in the gut before they have a chance to even see it coming. Fast is funny. The punchline should be as far to the end of a sentence as possible, and use as few words as possible. For example, in my Human Inertia post I wrote:
Human Inertia was my direct supervisor, which meant that I spent a lot of time explaining my job to him and walking around him.
Which is a pretty decent joke. A lousy joke, expressing the exact same sentiment, would be:
Human Inertia was my direct supervisor, which meant that I spent a lot of time walking around him and explaining my job to him.
Can’t you just feel the humor potential leaking out of the sentence as you stumble through that second dependent clause? It’s physically painful. And don’t telegraph your jokes. For example:
Human Inertia, my direct supervisor, was always getting in my way in one sense or another. I spent a lot of time explaining my job to him and walking around him
If a reader sees a joke coming, it’s like waiting for a bus. Dammit, when is that joke getting here? Oh, here it is. Ha ha. Friggin’ hilarious.
I know you’re probably wondering, “Is this really the process Diesel goes through to write one of his posts?” Honestly? No. There’s no process. But this is as close to a process as I can come up with.
It’s really more of a way to avoid some of the common mistakes of humor writing. If I can keep one person from stretching one halfway decent joke into a 500 word post, or telegraphing a joke three sentences in advance, or writing a post that ends with me beating off to Rue McLanahan, then this has been worth my time.
*Hopefully you’ve got a couple of funny ideas floating around your head. Funny stuff that your kid said, lyrics that you misheard, wacky product ideas you’ve come up with, quips, one-liners, whatever. If you can’t come up with 2 funny ideas, you should probably go knit a sweater or something.
Thanks to Diesel for writing this outstanding entry. Don’t forget to buy his book, Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police.
If you are interested in contributing to Humor Blogging, please email me through the contact page.
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Breaking Through the Bigger Blogger Barrier
Posted on January 7, 2008
Filed Under Linking | 10 Comments
What does it take to get noticed by a more influential blogger? It’s something we all strive to do, but we often feel as if we need to know a secret handshake for entry into an exclusive club.
This is the topic I explore in a guest post on WorkNPlay.net, Networking - Just Do It.
Please go check it out.
Why You Should Advertise On Blogs, Especially Mine
Posted on January 6, 2008
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
Image Credit: Advertise Here
You should advertise on blogs, and here’s why.
- I have a blog.
- I would like to make money blogging.
- If you advertise on my blog, I will make money blogging.
Hmm. For some reason that doesn’t seem as persuasive as it did in my mind.
Oh, I know. It needs to sound appealing to the Advertiser, and hopefully that would be you… Advertising on my blog. There are Only 2 Reasons You Need to prove that advertising on blogs is beneficial to you, the advertiser.
1. Blogs are read by bloggers
Blogs are read by bloggers, and they’re pretty gullible. If you even hint at the possibility that you have something to offer that will make money online, bloggers will be clicking through, signing up, and unleashing a meme storm on how great your affiliate is.
This entire process will take mere seconds. That’s right. You don’t even need to yield actual results first, before thousands of blogs endorse your program.
2. Bloggers want to make money online
Bloggers want to make money online but most of them suck at it. So, they’re willing to whore themselves out to the lowest bidder in an effort to do so. Look at all the people writing Useless Pay Per Post Izea garbage on their blogs for a whopping five bucks.
Of course, it’s totally worth it to turn your blog into a repository of trashy sales pitches for half-price drapes. How could it not be? You made five bucks!
Advertising on Blogs is Great For Advertisers!
If you’re an advertiser, you can’t do better than to hire a less-than-minimum-wage slave to enthusiastically and loudly proclaim you’re product, service, or website is better than a cure for cancer.
In other words, hire a blogger. Advertise on blogs.
Inspired by 7 Reasons you Should be Advertising on Blogs, via Problogger.
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Humor-Blogs.com Has many blogs to advertise on, and they’re funny.
Performancing Awards 2007 Reader’s Choice Polling Has Begun
Posted on January 4, 2008
Filed Under Linking | 6 Comments
Performancing has posted their 2007 Blog Awards Finalists. Of most interest to Humor Blogging, is the category for Funniest Blog. I’m always interested to know what kind of taste in humor other people have. I’m fully aware of what my own sense of humor finds funny, but one of the things I am exploring here is what makes things funny, and why.
As a result, awards for being funny interest me. The finalists for Funniest Blog (use this link to vote this category) are:
I am a fan of Violent Acres and Dilbert Blog (Duh. How much am I stealing his 2 of 6 Rule of Humor idea?). I’m not so much a fan of Lolcats (I Can Has Cheezeburger). I’ve read Waiter Rant a few times and enjoyed it. The other two finalist blogs are ones that are unfamiliar to me. I’ll make it a point to check them out over the weekend.
Personally, I think the funniest blogs are The Mattress Police, The Ominous Comma, and 15 Minute Lunch, none of which are finalists, but all rank well in the Humor-Blogs.com directory, and rightly so.
I’m also pleased to see that The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely is a contender for Best Blog You Never Heard Of (Use this link to vote this category). Kudos to a fellow Humor-Blogs.com member.
I’m highly interested to know what you think of the finalists for Funniest Blog. Offer your review or overview. Who gets your vote? What do you like or dislike about these sites?
Dare to be Stupid: Weird Al and Devo Dissected
Posted on January 1, 2008
Filed Under Writing Humor | 10 Comments
I recently rediscovered the Dare to Be Stupid video by Weird Al Yankovic. I remember it from back in the day when it was new, but then it faded from my memory for many years, until the magic of the internet brought it back to life.
When the band sticks the ice cream cones to their heads, it’s just classic.
One of my favorite lines is “You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wipple’s not around.” This is great for those of us that remember the “don’t squeeze the Charmin” ads. It works because we are familiar with the reference. Did anyone really believe that there was such great pleasure in squeezing and sniffing toilet paper?
